August 2010
1 post
Bat Country
still don’t think it’s...
July 2010
1 post
Bat Country - Not quite finished.
April 2010
1 post
November 2009
4 posts
Motives
It’s a common misconception
With most ignorant intentions
A murderer, each psychopath
Still returns to seek redemption
But what about the one
Owning everything he wants
Reaching out to take what
Everyone else flaunts.
Dear me, what have I done?
Tom Hanson
I've seen more penises than you today. An odd...
Needs inspiration to do lots of things. Except...
I've got my driving test in 5 days.
I’m nervous.
September 2009
2 posts
August 2009
14 posts
I got ID’d for fuel. Fail.
GCSE Results =]
English Language A
English Literature A*
Mathematics A*
Statistics A
Biology A
Chemistry A
Physics A
Music A
Drama B
Electronics A
IT (DiDA) A*
Booya xx
Went to Wales.
Was okay I guess. Got a Moleskine. Had fun hang-time moments with Tim. The roads were good.
Wish I went to South Wales.
Fuck you fuck you fuck you
No, not you, reader of the blog of mine. I’m saying fuck you to every person who trawls YouTube just to twist people’s words and cause arguments.
T’other day I was watching John Mayer videos and he did a solo acoustic rendition of Neon and messed it up. But, not only did he mess it up but he acknowledged it by singing ‘I told you that I would mess it up’ and...
English A Level
I just finished reading The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini, one of two books needed for Summer reading before starting my English A Level course. The other of which being Enduring Love by Ian McEwan.
I have to say, I usually read books with the good humour of expecting them to be predictable, guy gets girl, yadda yadda yadda, but I was genuinely moved by The Kite Runner and can see why...
“I’m so tired of being alone, so hurry up and get here.”
– John Mayer, Love Song For No One
quirkylady:
Mmm I feel very loved up its such a nice feeling, I’m so lucky to have you in my life.Thanks for putting up with me it can’t be easy hehe:D I loooove you <3<3<3
Love you too princess.
If I knew someone called Anne who worked at a shoe shop, I’d definitely call her Shoes-Anne =]
For some reason I imagine David Mitchell saying...
Help… Having confidence crisis. Feeling bloated and uncomfortable… Not easy to pull off ‘Sun Godess’ when you feel like… *sigh* Must listen to advice from decidedly confident friend, and try Activia!
Activia, with its exclusive culture of TESTICLES, HOT, JUICY TESTICLES; TESTICLES IS HOW ACTIVIA WORKS.
Now who’s feeling more beach babe than beach ball?
Help...
What the fucking FUCK?
Alright guys, we’ve come out with a lovely pretty new detergent for our company, Fairy Liquid. Now… how to advertise it..? Paul?
Well, I’m thinking, my kid loves his little push scooter and gets very jealous of the kids on our street who have Ultra-Scooter-Cleaner 200000’s, consequently making their scooters bitchingly cleaner, and obviously, superior. So how about we...
WatchYeah, I normally don’t post videos but I found this fucking hilarious. Kudos to the creator.
I'm just curious
When I was younger and I made a mess, my mum would either call me a ‘Mucky Pup’ or a ‘Messy Arab’ and I was wondering…
…is the latter racist?
‘evening all xx
July 2009
3 posts
Pussy Juice
Yeah, bit of a strange title, but there is a reason other than downright perversity.
On Monday Tim set up a house party being as my parents are away for a bit with guests including his girlfriend and Mike. Yeah I know you don’t know Mike, but out of all the people in the world that you should know, you should want to know him the most. Anyhoo the party was due to begin at 8:00pm which...
An observation -
Ever since I’ve had my beloved Macbook, I’ve only let a select few people touch it, let alone use it… God forbid. Anyhoo, I’ve always told them about the innovative multi-touch trackpad and how it works only to have them try and scroll by moving the curser to the side and manually clicking and dragging…
So last year
I don’t know if it’s nerves at me...
Pretentious Noise
Hello Lady Gaga, do allow me to explain exactly why I don’t like you, atta girl.
You’ve called yourself Lady Gaga. Lady being a self-proclaimed title causing the pretentiousness to shine through. And Gaga is just a noise. So you’re technically called Pretentious Noise, aptly describing the embodiment of your music.
Fuck you,
Love Tom xx
June 2009
1 post
Hello stranger...
Yeah, it’s been over a month since I last blogged… And that was just a quote so let me begin by saying HI!
Again.
Anyhoo, I’ve got my beloved Macbook, except Apple fucked up and gave me the wrong hard drive, but it’s alright because I’m getting a £630 24” monitor for it for £560. Good times.
But what I really wanted to talk about was Michael Jackson. And...
May 2009
10 posts
“When oh when will my Macbook come..? I’m going insane!”
– Me, most of this week.
MOST people..?
I’ve just been downstairs to vegetate in front of the telly-box accompanied by a couple of Chicago Town Pepperoni Mini Pizzas (yes I did have to attempt to capitalise on that) and the adverts flickered on after a thorough raping from Stephen Mulhern’s atrocious sense of humour.
Here comes Claratyn, a revolutionary new Hay Fever repellent spray, old Batman style. I wish. They’re...
Green Light
Today I went out on my moped and played a quick game. This is what I am about to relay to you. Sit tight.
Well I went into town to see Coraline, a film of which I do not express major opinion as it was pretty epic but at the same time didn’t really impress its epicness upon me, and on the way back I was heading towards a clear green light thinking,
Don’t change you bastard.
It...
As I sit here listening to John Mayer...
…I reflect on what’s been going on in the last 4 days.
Well first off I’m on half term at the minute which means, although I’m already on study leave and might have to go to school for exams, revision et cetera, I definitely do not have to go it. Hooray. So over the next week I’m gonna be working rather a lot.
Sucks right?
Wrong. It’s awesome because...
“This will end with the twenty two words making up one thousand words blogged so...”
– Schpöple!
GCSE's
Let’s get this straight once and for all for all of you confused Americans out there. When British people go through the edumacation system they most likely (but do not have to) start at Nursery School, what I believe you call Pre-School or Kindergarten.
When we hit 5, that or thereabouts (woo Dickens), we go into Year 1 of Infant School, Primary School or, more precisely, Key Stage 1. If...
Showering...
Women
Carefully undress putting clothes neatly into the dirty washing hamper.
See how long you can look at your naked body without thinking ‘God, I’m hideous!’. Average of 8 seconds.
Check every square inch of skin for spots/blemishes/parasites.
Sigh in either elation or disappointment at pertness/size of breasts.
Squeeze breasts together to see if it makes them look...
Haha irony?
Today my brother said to me,
‘Hey Tom, did you know that it’s illegal to pronounce Arkansas wrongly in Arkansas?’
completely unaware that you pronounce Arkansas as Arkansaw, and not phonetically.
I laughed.
Toodles xx
April 2009
6 posts
Swine flu
Being as I don’t write much about current events, more about what’s revolving around me physically and, indeed, mentally, I thought I’d give tackling this ‘pandemic’ a try.
So, uh on the morning of Thursday 30th of April, how many people in the UK were suffering from this deadly, highly contagious disease? 5? Oh, so that’s 5 out of 60,943,912?
Contagious...
Apologies, but once again I am forced to ask...
… What the fuck!?!
Hi everybody and, unless you didn’t know, everyone who is more than a year younger than me is a douchbag. Oh you already knew that? Well did you also know that everyone who is more than a year younger than me also happen to be fucking each other?
Didn’t see that coming now did you?
The other day I saw two kids (who I guess were in year 8 {that’s 12-13...
1 tag
A quick trip into my mind Pt. 27
Woo, already found some glitches with the layout, but heigh ho, tomorrow’s another day.
Anyhoo, I was musing about how most people I’ve ever know called Jason were complete douches, most Wills have been assholes and the same goes for most Jacks.
Curious, right?
By the way, I’m not digging at anyone called one of the above names, it’s just an observation and people that I...
Welcome, One and All...
…To www.tbhanson.co.uk !
So to get me back into the blogging spirit, I decided to revisit a project that Tim and I had been working on a few months back to completely refurbish everything and act as a breath of fresh air to you, the consumer.
Apologies for sounding like an infomercial then.
Anyhoo, we sincerely hope you like it and any changes that you suggest we make will be highly...
1 tag
G Benda feat. T Hanson - Sonatina in A Minor...
Holy Shit
Wow.
I haven’t blogged for nearly a month.
I should have my ass kicked for that.
Here is a short runthrough of what’s been going on in my life in the past month:
Went skiing with Harry and Tim (good times)
Done a bunch of GCSE shit
Watched Pan’s Labyrinth (not what I expected at all)
Had a work-related crisis that’s been resolved
Read a couple of books
Purchased...
March 2009
15 posts
“That’s the problem with humanity; they cannot flatpack the unflatpackable.”
I had no idea they lifted the ban on stem cell...
crillz:
It’s about time.
*FUCKING BRILLIANT*
Last week
I’m sorry that my blogging has been so infrequent lately, but I have so much going on mainly because it seems like every piece of coursework EVER is due in THIS FRIDAY. So I apologise again.
Anyhoo, just saying that I’ve begun watching Family Guy again and get a lot more of the Jew Jokes after watching every South Park episode at least thrice.
And I’ve talked a lot about...
1 tag
A quick trip into my mind Pt. 26
Okay, this is a slightly surreal one. I was watching Family Guy earlier and it was the one where Peter is dressed up as a clown in an army unit intoning,
“You guys are all stupid; see, they’re gonna be looking for army guys.”
setting my brain whirling, finally concocting this idea -
If the government shelled out some cash to buy a giant penis suit for each and every soldier...
Wrath of the Connoisseur
Every piece of coursework for every subject that I do is due in either next week or the week after. I do drama and we have to devise a 30 minute play and act it out for an invigilator. We have 20 minutes and we’ve got to have finished it by latest of Wednesday next week.
FUCK.
Now I’ve gotten that out, I wish to remain on the same tangent of drama but discuss what happened today. In...
Not a good day. Except the end.
Argh. Why can I not have a female friend without people asking me when I’m going to stop flirting with them? Not only are they using the complete wrong word for their intentions because, in essence, I am flirting with them -
Flirt -verb (used without object)
to court triflingly or act amorously without serious intentions; play at love; coquet.
but what they fail to grasp is the part about...
If you're under 15 remember...
…some teachers are awesome.
First on the agenda; the Wiz went pretty awesome and, even though I forgot my lines thrice, I used my distinguished powers of talking utter shit to gloss over those awkward moments. It was all good. Harry’s family and girlfriend (who may as well be family) were watching along with a small selection of youngsters from the school, so I’ve had rather a...