text

MOST people..?

I’ve just been downstairs to vegetate in front of the telly-box accompanied by a couple of Chicago Town Pepperoni Mini Pizzas (yes I did have to attempt to capitalise on that) and the adverts flickered on after a thorough raping from Stephen Mulhern’s atrocious sense of humour.

Here comes Claratyn, a revolutionary new Hay Fever repellent spray, old Batman style. I wish. They’re just tablets but details details… Anyhoo, they’re meant to be amazing, but some writing sprung up in the subscript of the eyesore depicting that it:

Does not cause drowsiness in most people.

Most people? What that tells me is that, if it were to cause drowsiness in myself, I would be seen as some sort of tablet-taking inadequate who can do nothing more than crawl on the floor in either a hay fever-induced coma, drowsy confusion as to where I am and, indeed, where I am going or utter despair over the fact that I can’t take a tablet that singles me out as some sort of ridiculous, light weighted minority.

Well done Claratyn. You should change your slogan to

Cures Hay Fever, but may induce self-deprecation.

Arseingly yours,

Tom xxx