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If you’re under 15 remember…

…some teachers are awesome.

First on the agenda; the Wiz went pretty awesome and, even though I forgot my lines thrice, I used my distinguished powers of talking utter shit to gloss over those awkward moments. It was all good. Harry’s family and girlfriend (who may as well be family) were watching along with a small selection of youngsters from the school, so I’ve had rather a lot of feedback and it’s all been super-awesome positive, so Friday should be even better if I learn my lines!

Anyhoo, back to my original point, I spent the majority of my backstage-time chatting with one of the music teachers who shall remain nameless for two reasons:

1. She may get in trouble for one reason
2. I may get in trouble for a different reason

We talked about the Wiz mainly and the fact that she had been kicked off the main keyboard music-making team and demoted to my personal wig brusher and small-children-keep-quiet-er. Which sucks because she’s really nice. And, for the final half an hour or so, we got our hands on a couple of the magazines that some of the year 8/9 girls had brought and I read out all of the cringe-worthy questions to her. Questions like this:

Hi. Over the past few weeks, I have been noticing warts popping up on and around my vagina. I am not a virgin, and I was wondering if they could be genital warts and if you could recommend a good cream to use to remove them.
Panicked, 16, Birmingham

And this:

Hey Young Slapper Today magazine! I started my period about 5 weeks ago, but have not stopped secreting a sticky white discharge for the past 6 and it is staining my knickers! My mum says it’s fine, but I don’t believe her and I want to know if I’m ill. Help!
Melony, 13, Reading

I read these out. To my teacher. Try it; it’s immensely fun.

Goodnoodle to you all xx