text

Wrath of the Connoisseur

Every piece of coursework for every subject that I do is due in either next week or the week after. I do drama and we have to devise a 30 minute play and act it out for an invigilator. We have 20 minutes and we’ve got to have finished it by latest of Wednesday next week.

FUCK.

Now I’ve gotten that out, I wish to remain on the same tangent of drama but discuss what happened today. In second period we were asked to show what we have to an audience of year 9’s because their teacher’s off (she ran into a pole and has delayed concussion. She’s also blonde) and it was a good experience for us. Both my group and another were scheduled to act so the year 9’s substitute took us (the year 11’s) for the hour, which is the exact point that I’m getting at. He was a fucking weirdo.

First, i believe a description - he looked like the reflection of Colin Mocherie in a height stretching carnival mirror. He stood like a homo (arms crossed, smug expression, lips pouting etc) and was not a Drama teacher, but a Performing Arts teacher. Obviously wayy over our little heads. So, we enter his room after acting for those little bastards and he immediately tells us all to sit down and discuss what we just did. We sat down. And talked about year 9’s being wankers. So he sat with us and asked us questions such as,

“How could you improve your performances?”

“How could you improve the storyline?”

“How could you make it longer?”

All to which I replied,

“Sex scene…”

Well he wasn’t having any of that, so he quickly moved on to use trying to explain our storyline to him. We said that we couldn’t because it’s long, confusing and we’re still developing it. To which he said ‘I don’t care’ and continued to raise his voice and call us rude, finally asking for a ‘5 minute snippet’. We repeatedly told him that he wouldn’t understand it, but he was so persistent that we caved in and showed him a really obscure bit with as little acting in a possible. 5 minutes later,

“I didn’t understand any of that…”

Way to go. Anyway, after this I noticed something that could improve in the scene and had an idea for it so I began to explain it to Louis. Again, Scary Drama Guy didn’t like this one bit and kept yelling ‘STOP INTERRUPTING ME!’. But it’s beneficial to the group. ‘I DON’T CARE… AAAAAAARGH!’. Kayy… Louis finally lost it and let out his anger in a loud scream of annoyance and anguish…

“… You need to control your animalistic instincts, young man.”

So he left to go and see another group for a bit before returning to us. However, not before someone from the group that he just went to came to us and informed us that he had said ‘That group are off their heads!’ He returned to 6 blank faces and Nick saying ‘So… You been bitching about us behind our backs, sir?’ earning us another bout of ‘SHUT UP! I’LL BITCH ABOUT YOU TO YOUR FACES! etc.’ Then I said, perfectly politely and respectfully,

“I think what you’re missing here, sir, is that you want us to listen to you, but you refuse to listen to us.”

“SHUT UP! STOP INTERRUPTING ME!”

He ignored us for the rest of the lesson. Happy day.

Evening Ma’am xx